Social Connection and Support for Wellbeing
- abhishekmrajyaguru
- Jun 17
- 4 min read
Growing up, I often felt like I did not fit in. I was sensitive, emotional, and spiritual- not what boys were supposed to be like. I was bullied at school. Even when I was in Buddhist monasteries, I sometimes felt out of place for being too social or too expressive. Deep down, I was not searching just for peace, but I was searching for real belonging. Looking back, it makes sense that human connection has become such a big part of my wellbeing journey.
Positive Psychology shows that relationships are at the heart of a good life. In Seligman’s PERMA model (2011), the R stands for Relationships- meaningful and supportive connections that lift us up. Research tells us that the quality of our relationships affects our happiness more than money or success (Diener & Seligman, 2002). And loneliness is not just painfu, it is actually harmful for us. Loneliness is linked to mental health issues, heart problems and even shorter life expectancy (Holt-Lunstad et al., 2015).
Loneliness is considerably increasing in recent years. A recent survey in Australia (2023) showed that one in three adults often feels lonely. After COVID, many people want deeper connection but they are not sure how to go about it. This is why simple practices to create deeper connections are important.
One practice I often use is Mindful Listening. It is simple and powerful. You give someone your full attention. No interrupting, no advice, no fixing. Just listening with presence. You tune in to their words and their feelings. You stay with them fully.
This practice has changed my life. It has helped me build more trust and empathy in all my relationships. In my sessions, people sometimes say, “I have never felt so heard.” That’s the power of presence. And you don’t need any special skills or people to do it. All you need is a little practice (Weger et al., 2014).
What I love about mindful listening is that anyone can do it. You can try it with a friend, a partner, or even a stranger. It’s not about how long you talk- it is about how deeply you connect. A five-minute, heartfelt chat can be more nourishing than hours of distracted conversation. All it takes is putting away your phone, taking a deep breath and saying to yourself: I’m here. I’m listening.
This idea also links to a Positive Psychology tool called Active Constructive Responding (Gable et al., 2006). When someone shares something with us, we can respond with curiosity and care. That deepens connection. Psychologist Barbara Fredrickson calls these “micro-moments of positivity resonance” (Fredrickson, 2013). Tiny, warm moments that help us feel close.
During lockdown, I hosted online sharing circles using this approach. People from all over the world joined. We listened. We shared. We laughed, cried, and felt connected- even over Zoom. It reminded me that what people really need isn’t advice- it’s to feel seen and supported.
Of course, connection is more than just conversation. The PERMA+4 model adds other wellbeing areas like physical health, mindset, and environment (Cabrera & Donaldson, 2024). These also shape how connected we feel. I often suggest people build small rituals into their week- a regular walk with a friend, joining a community group or even starting a gratitude message chain.
When we listen mindfully, we also activate our natural strengths- like kindness, social intelligence, and love. These are some of the top VIA character strengths linked to strong relationships. And they grow stronger the more we use them.
For me, creating connection isn’t just work- it’s part of who I am. Whether I’m running laughter yoga, teaching mindfulness, or having a shared meal, I want people to feel welcome and free to be themselves.
As someone who once felt alone, I now believe belonging starts with how we show up- for ourselves and for each other. Mindful listening is one way to do that. It says: You matter. I’m here with you. And sometimes, that is exactly what someone needs. So let us listen more mindfully, create meaningful connections and support each other on this journey of wellbeing. Together we can!
References:
Cabrera, V., & Donaldson, S. I. (2024). PERMA to PERMA+4 building blocks of well-being: A systematic review. The Journal of Positive Psychology, 19(3), 510–529. https://doi.org/10.1080/17439760.2023.2208099
Diener, E., & Seligman, M. E. P. (2002). Very happy people. Psychological Science, 13(1), 81–84.
Fredrickson, B. L. (2013). Love 2.0: How our supreme emotion affects everything we feel, think, do, and become. Hudson Street Press.
Gable, S. L., Gonzaga, G. C., & Strachman, A. (2006). Will you be there for me when things go right? Supportive responses to positive event disclosures. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 91(5), 904–917. https://doi.org/10.1037/0022-3514.91.5.904
Holt-Lunstad, J., Smith, T. B., Baker, M., Harris, T., & Stephenson, D. (2015). Loneliness and social isolation as risk factors for mortality: A meta-analytic review. Perspectives on Psychological Science, 10(2), 227–237
Seligman, M. E. P. (2011). Flourish: A visionary new understanding of happiness and well-being. Free Press.
Weger, H., Jr., Castle Bell, G., Minei, E. M., & Robinson, M. C. (2014). The relative effectiveness of active listening in initial interactions. International Journal of Listening, 28(1), 13–31.
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